Left Out
Left Out

Because I’m strange, doesn’t mean I’m stupid
Because I love wars, doesn’t mean I’m hateful
Why don’t you look back and remember when you were bullied?
You can’t be cool because cool doesn’t give its time.
So you are the same as me- not cool, not dumb…
We are just the same!
People, from the minute we were born.
Gabriel Davies Age 8 3/4
Tess Egerton © 2012
The Surrealist Story Of The Cyber Lovecats :-)
Little Miss Muffet met Fate on a tuffet
Whilst eating an omelette one day…
She said ” I rather think
you’re deserving a wink
Or a flirt or an invite to play”
Said Fate to Miss Muffet
” I’d rather not rough-it
For I’m a sophisticant, see…
I like to go wining and chatting and dining
But floozies are ‘off-piste’ to me”.
WELL! Little Miss Muffet
Cried ” I hate to buff-it,
For I’m a sophisticant too….
I far prefer texting
From free-stylie sexing
I think we should meet at the zoo!”
The Meeting took place
at a horse -riding race
where their eyes met cross a crowded marquee
She said ” you’re just the fella
Cos you like paella-
I think we should go out for tea!!”.
Fate started the car
And they played Shalamar
As they drove their way into the night
They had major laughs
And talked tall giraffes
And only returned in the light.
The moral of tale
Is to not weep or wail
On the deepest of heart-rending states
Don’t try to be clever, and never say never
Cos one day you may find your ‘Fate’.
© Tess Egerton 2012
I Would Like Green Eggs and Jam, ‘Man’
I am Will
Will. I. Am
I would Like Green Eggs and Ham
I would Like Some Strawberry Jam
I would like to sing Like Tom
I would like to write a song
And produce with Plume de Nom
I am Will
Will .I . AM
I would like Green Eggs and Ham
Tess Egerton © 2012
Letter to Lord Leveson (In Ode form)
Lord Justice Levy, hear my Ode,
Twas time to write or else implode,
As Murdoch’s hacking tale unfolds,
I’m mulling over dreams untold.
For every moment you’re on air
I swoon at each plucked nasal hair;
the wry remarks and steely glare
upon each witness in the chair.
Oh Justice Lev, why can’t it be?
Just us locked in court 73
discussing clauses over tea,
NOT even with Bob Jay (QC).
Lord Levy ( can we call you Brian?)
Ever perceptive when they’re lying
You silence hacks when barely trying
Litigate against unlawful spying….
Lord Leveson I’m in despair!
I yearn to touch your greying hair
It matters not there’s little there
I’ll bring my duster, I don’t care….!
Exemplary judge of highest stance
Your presence sends me in a trance
I would if I had half a chance,
For now I’ll settle with a glance.
And so my rapturous ode must close
For there is no sufficient prose
No need for me to feel morose-
When we next meet I’ll strike a pose!
© Tess Egerton 2012
Jeremy Kyle- Eat Your Heart Out!
Oh Foolish Lothario
look what you’ve done!
Disguarded my sister~
She’s lost and alone…
She’d spent all that time
hanging onto your words
but now you ignore her,
it’s clearly absurd.
She’d loved you more deeply
than life in itself
Now all I can do
Is console with her grief.
Oh great Casanova
I hope you’re content,
one day you’ll look back
and see just what I meant.
They’d told you the grass
was to be greener offside.
If only you’d seen
We’ve all been there; they’d lied…
So any excuses,
oh selfish ex-lover?
Is life more fulfilled
hopping one to another?
One day we will see
as you pass in the street,
She’ll bravely ignore you~
look down at her feet.
She won’t want you seeing
the hurt in her eyes,
I’ll be there beside her
repairing her pride.
Oh foolish lothario;
Such a disgrace.
Just hope there’s a home
for your great waste of space…..
©TE 2011
Recent Posts
- Week 20 ~ ’ Semaine Vingt’ (Means Big Pants)
- Dr Winstanley’s View: Week 18
- Talk to the Bump (though the face IS listening!).
- Dear Diary ~ It’s Springtime and There’s a Lot of Blooming!
- Dr Winstanley on Diet and Exercise in Pregnancy
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