Talk to the Bump (though the face IS listening!).

This week has been an eye-opener in so many ways. It has been a sensorial  feast of lessons of a sociological nature to say the least! All of a sudden,  with the nice weather and  subsequent exposure of baby bump, the world and her aunties seem to want to stop and talk ~most of the time ~simply because of the bump itself. I have witnessed complete strangers walk up to me feeling the need to have a pat on the belly protrusion and share their very own stories of pregnancy , birth, sometimes even the conception for crying out loud! I’ve been left wondering whether there’s an innate vulnerability perceived by people when they see a ‘lady in waiting’  which draws them into conversation. In any other situation, idle chit chat would have been avoided at all costs with these people. Don’t get me wrong; I love it! But one can’t help wondering why such great expectations automatically bring out the better side in otherwise dead-pan or ignorant people.

 

Take this morning for instance. I decide to poddle along to the local cafe/bistro  for some alfresco working with a smoothie or two. As I settle at the table and start de-canting my writing equipment, the bistro manager bounds over with a smile as wide as the grill on a Humvi , stating very loudly ” shut uuuuupp, I never knew you were expecting!!”… ( or rather, “shu’ uuuuuup” in full Towie fashion…. she should start offering out free glottle stops with every 2 lattes..).  As well I know she is talking to me, I find myself looking around the bistro to check there isn’t a long lost friend of hers sitting behind me , surreptitiously. … maybe she’s stuffed a cushion up her jumper for a prank! But, no… the colourful display of over-exuberance is indeed reserved for me and before I know it,the normally monosyllabic  girl is perched next to me showing me photos of her cousins newborn; cooing and enthusing madly. Once I’ve recovered from the temporary shock, I respond in kind and calmly pass the time of day with her, but all the while think to myself ” why on earth are you being so friendly when during the last eighteen months of my visits you’ve looked right through me with a resigned haughtiness?” I half expect her to announce all coffees on the house and jump up onto the tables, turning all  Andrew-LLoyd Webber on us, but thankfully not. Once she’s collectively exhausted the subject , me and herself , she totters back to the till smiling at her latest discovery.

 

Not content with that, my next stop is for assisting duty at eldest child’s school trip to the local church.  Having been halted six times between the bistro and my car, I arrive at the classroom only to be met by 30 excited 9 year olds staring at me as though I’m an extra terrestrial  being, then clambering at me for a touch of the baby bump once more. Questions start flying at me from all directions ” are there two in there? how do you know?” “how will they come out?” “”how did they get in there?” (Oh God, how do I get round THIS one??), ” when will they be born?” “”  are they heavy?” etc etc etc.. I wouldn’t mind, but it’s all boys crowding round, asking! The girls merely stand around curiously, sizing up the situation , exuding thoughts of ”  Lord save me from looking like THAT when I grow up!”. The last week has been very much a constant trickle of happy visitors to baby bump land in this vein of interaction. The cheery, jocular,optimistic comments are welcomed in buckets of course, but being a sociolinguist, I am constantly intrigued by the transformation in the behaviour of people I’d previously observed to actually be quite rude and lacking in social interest. Long my it reign , but I can’t help asking whether these are the people who’ve been dying to talk in the past but have been shy due to no common ground, whether they’re intrinsically miserable in some cases, but are genuinely heartened by the news of new life/lives or whether, in the transient nature of today’s western society, it’s a bit of temporary entertainment~ to become tomorrow’s chip wrapper? Either way, it fascinates me almost as much as the pregnancy itself!

©Tess Egerton 2013

Dear Diary ~ It’s Springtime and There’s a Lot of Blooming!

Here we are again; another week and more expansion to behold!

This week, the welcomed sun has decided to emerge after a long and arduous winter. Similarly, after four months of being hidden under jumpers and baggy shirts, the time has finally arrived to get the fitted ‘bump’ tops and flowing skirts out. This, thankfully, coincides with our decision to go away for a weekend celebration on the eve of our anniversary and some much needed rest and respite.

The mere thought of being let loose on the English Riviera seaside has proved too much for me and in my zeal for new summer clothes, I even find myself getting a fitting for new bras and a maternity tankini (emphasis on tank)! Despite my better half being apparently grateful for the ever expanding rack, all I can think about is the aftermath when my mammaries turn into tube-socks and I can tie them around my neck in time for winter, post-birth. This must be avoided at all costs, so ‘comfortable fit with extra strong scaffolding’ support it is then please measuring lady!!

Once all titanium hoists are safely in place and elder children  are packed off for an adventure weekend of their own, we head south with gay abandonment… well, cautious abandonment on my part as the babies have decided to sit on a particularly sensitive nerve. They’ve temporarily give me a ‘drunken man with wet trousers’ walk…ever so attractive.

The weekend turns out to be a roaring success, with much strolling, swimming, sight-seeing and talk of the twins going on.There is also excitement abound as I feel the small flutters of movement change to real rumblings of activity in there. The twins have obviously realized we’re on a break and have decided to entertain us with an impromptu boxing match which lasts most of Saturday.

Sunday morning unfolds with an amusing revelation that I can’t actually swim very successfully with an already huge bump to carry around with me. I gingerly step into the pool, and losing my balance, break into a very comedic doggy paddle; clumsily splash-splattering like a deranged Labrador. Himself is in such convulsions of hysteria at the sight, he has to get out of the pool and sit at the side for a few minutes to recover… oh the embarrassment.

Once suitably delighted from the getaway weekend; rested and back home, it is time for our obstetrics check-up with the NHS. It all seems to be happening this week on my little pregnancy update messages….the twins are “growing rapidly this week”, they are causing me to “feel off balance a little” (you don’t say..!), they “weigh around the same as a small turnip” (delightful image) and they may start to cause “ changes in your blood pressure”.  This turns out to be true as I see the midwife and the obstetrician and they both tell me my blood pressure is through the roof. I feel as though I’m rattling along now and not entirely happy that every healthcare professional I meet gives me yet another barrel of medication “ because you’re 41 and expecting twins you see”. They may as well be saying ….”you ram-raided a charity shop and robbed an OAP “ by the discerning expressions on their faces. As I raise my eyes to the heavens with obvious despair, the doc makes an attempt at placating with a feeble “ I had a lady in here expecting twins when she was 58 before now”… gee tanks!

So here I go for another week.. heading for week 18 and armed with folic acid, multivitamins, aspirin, emla cream (anaesthetic for all the blood tests) and a partridge in a pear tree.

If I go missing,  just look in the nearest pharmacy…

 

© Tess Egerton 2013

Skeletons in the Cabinet.. German Expressionist Film

 

The German Expressionist movement was initiated around 1913 and largely confined to Germany due

to the isolation the country experienced during World War I. This unique genre defined the German

Golden age of film, but due to Hitler’s restrictions didn’t last very long.  The concept of

Expressionism was based on two parallel systems. The first was noted for each film’s dependence on

the studio as it was a completely controlled environment. The second was the emphasis on the action

rather than the actor. This demand resulted in the creation of a repertory of German actors performing

a wide range and variety of roles. In addition to the restriction of set structure and role emphasis, there

were generally only two types of film moods within the genre of Expressionism.  Firstly, this

encompassed the traditional German romantic fantasy of mystical love and death.’ These films were

often eerie, abstract and mysterious. They had monsters in human clothing from beyond the grave.

The second feature of this genre followed the fundamental thread of Freud and Weber’s theories and

 was psychologically disturbing if harshly realistic at times. Here the action was more sensation

orientated. The setting was often the squalid present reflecting each character’s frustrations, passions

and needs.’ Expressionist filmmakers often used the metaphysical to draw upon the audience’s

emotions and provided  a cinema of objects and mists and obtrusive sets, of space obsessively

filled’.(Brody 83.36,2007). This epitomised the idea that the visible world’s look and style would act

as a mirror of internal human sensations.

The two films which stand out as the greatest examples of horror genre within Expressionism have to

be noted as ‘ The Cabinet of Dr Caligari’ {1919} and ‘Nosferatu’ {1922}; both from this dark era and

sharing a unique use of filming styles such as chiaroscuro. In order to fully appreciate the effect these

films had on contemporary cinematography, it is necessary to take a brief look at each film for its

artistic and directorial merits.

 Heralded as being ‘A landmark of expressionist cinema’ The Cabinet of Dr Caligari’ is considered to

be’ one of the touchstones of German expressionist cinema’. Made in 1920 by Robert Weine it is

celebrated within its field for ‘feasting the eyes with bizarre, angular visuals despite its technical

crudity’, and ‘profoundly distorted buildings and costumes reflect the insanity of the title character’.

(Jclarkmedia,2007).  Relating the gory story of a fairground hypnotist who uses a

sleepwalker to carry out murders, the film still retains a unique sense ofpeculiar psychological horror,

even when watched in modern times.  Using angular set design, thick make-up and creative lighting

techniques, it tells the tale of a murderous doctor and his sleepwalking golem. It provides an ‘eerie

exploration of the mind of a madman.. and through a clever framing device the audience is never quite

clear on who is mad and who is sane ‘The film is highly regarded not only for its aesthetic merits, but

for containing early examples of both flashbacks and a twist ending’.( Olsen , 2008). The set is

desperately crude, yet offers inexplicable aesthetic value to the overall atmosphere of this dark

storyline.

Nosferatu (1922), conversely is considered a Dracula-inspired film that pioneered the horror genre.

 

Heavily plagiarised from Bram Stoker’s classic, the names only are changed to adapt character

 

identities.

 

Hugely innovative for its time, F.W. Murnau ‘s crew invented suspense-endorsing techniques that are

 

still used in film today; nearly a hundred years on. Although, clearly an Expressionist film, Murnau

 

famously broke away from the stereotypical set building for this production and filmed on location in

 

the Carpathian mountains; adding shocking depth of field and realism for relevant impact in certain

 

shots.

 

This silent film, entirely recorded in black and white was made in the age of print and barely radio,

 

not television or film.  Despite the film’s scratchy, messy texture, it still manages to set audience’s

 

hearts racing into a shocked response which all good horror films do so well.

 

Several innovative techniques of significance can be detected upon close scrutiny. All are examples

of Murnau’s ingenuity to shape the horror-genre with storytelling .

  Already steeped in stark black and white contrast; Mernau leverages the space between these two

colours further to set the film’s dark tone using clever manipulation of shadow and texture.

With chiaroscuro scenes of long gloomy hallways and semi distinguished figures of mystery, plus

distant shots of the quiet and barren castle where the vampire lives, ‘he makes the viewer mistrust the

environment and have concern for the helpless man seeking to meet the vampire. The use of shadows

for example enhances the hidden image of the vampire’s long claws’.( jclarkmedia.com 2007).

The physical enhancement of actor Max Schrek, who plays the vampire: ‘a hideous walking corpse

 

with a bald head’ (Bilson, Guardian.2010) is deliberately disturbing to say the least; another tactic in

 

pre-emptive imagery to manipulate audiences into a state of shock. The

 

costume designers altered his nose to make it long and bent; his fingers made into long talons. They

 

used pointy ears and bulging eyes, a thin lipped rodent mouth and teeth.  He was depicted as thin,

 

stringy pariah whose shoulders placement didn’t match  the normal human frame.

 

That now very familiar horror movie effect of the villain’s shadow slowly looming over a victim,

 

without ever seeing the villain’s body would appear to have been invented by Murnau , working well  

 

because the audience aren’t allowed any vision the vampire behind the camera and therefore making

 

the scene more terrifying.

 

Murnau used subtle techniques to make things not make sense. For example, there’s a point in the

film where the unknowing victim reaches the remote village near the vampire and accepts a ride from

 

a mysterious carriage whose driver looks exactly like the vampire (who the audience will meet

 

later). It’s as if the vampire himself is omnipresent, spying on him and existing in two places at once.

 

This technique has been used in other films, but upon inspection, Nosferatu was the first. These

 

psychosomatic features were coupled with extraordinary physical capabilities to add even more

 

mystery. At one point in the film, Count Orlok (the film’s vampire) rises up magically from the coffin

 

to become completely vertical.  The effect is chilling; whether a film critic in the year 1922 or 2022.

 

.However, the effects of such filmic technique and ingenious suspense directing are clear to see within

 

certain contemporary cinema genres . Whether considering the work of great masters in film directing

 

such as Alfred Hitchcock or even the more immediately contemporary Tim Burton.  Modern cinema

 

borrows elements of German Expressionism for sci-fi, horror and thriller films which rely greatly on

 

the mood of suspense and fantastical setting created by the film techniques

 

   ‘Today, stylistic elements from German Expressionism are commonly used in contemporary films

especially in stories that have no need for reference to real settings such as sci-fi and fantasy

films’.(Kolar N.d)

For instance, there could be almost no doubt that ‘Tim Burton used Conrad Veidt’s  Cesare as a model

for Edward Scissorhands’(Bastian 2010). Except for the contrasting manual replacements and a contrast in hair

styling, Scissorhands has a striking resemblance to Cesare — tall, thin, stark pale face, deeply shadow-

ringed eyes, skin-tight  black outfit.  The use of a starkly white face, especially on a medium contrast

film stock, manages to suck all the detail out of a person’s complexion. We’re left with eyes and

mouth, dark nostrils, but that is it — and yet, with such minimal material, Veidt makes us feel the

somnambulist’s pain, understand the trap he is in and forgive him the crimes he commits. Similary,

reflecting German Expressionism again in the design of Gotham city in Batman Returns. Burton

provides a dream-like vibe with emphasis to lines and curves, while the film explores psychology in

its characters. Batman, Penguin and Catwoman all came with backgrounds that drove them into

having duality in personality and in the fit of madness, they characters come to interact. Blade

Runner (1982) by Ridley Scott  and Dark City (1998) by Alex Proyas are also two films notable for

their Expressionist architecture and themes. These derivative borrowings certainly serve in proving ‘

the old ones are always the best’.

The Key to Success In Recession

The Key to Success In Recession.

When  Britain is gripped with recession and burglaries are on the increase as a result of accumulative financial despair, one would be forgiven for  thinking the security industry would be booming as a direct result. Houses being broken into? Locks to be be picked , nicked and sold on for scrap by criminals and replaced lucratively by the professionals…?  Not necessarily so.  Journalist Tess Egerton homed in on The Bristol Locksmith and clients to unpick a few industry rumblings of discontent and set the record straight.

If you look on any Google search engine, you will find pages and pages of Locksmith entries all over the UK. Bristol is no exception to anywhere else in the country, but is certainly a good example of a niche market which has grown over ten fold in the last three years ; perhaps more so than most places.

Owner and proprieter of The Bristol Locksmith, S.A Nutt, explained further:

“One of the biggest problems these days is that you can get all the specialist tools on eBay and  can Youtube the instructions to teach yourself via the internet in becoming  a locksmith. It’s all there for the taking, and people who have otherwise been struggling to find employment during recession times are setting up very quickly in this area of technical ability , then going out to assist families locked out of their homes or cars.”

He continues , “Competition has also increased significantly over the last few years because anyone  can advertise very cheaply or for free on Google , therefore taking away business which would have been advertised in the yellow pages previously. In addition to this, when you buy specialist equipment such as a eurocylinder snapper tool from the average supplier, they don’t check your  identity any more to ensure the consumer is a legitimate locksmith or security company. That, coupled with materials generally being cheaper more recently invites laypersons to try their hand at specialist areas within our industry”.

This can prove a somewhat dangerous problem for those searching for cheap quotes however. It transpires that very often the cheaper locksmiths are those who have only recently started up. Bristol businessman Amit Patek conveyed one such story.

“We have many properties over the whole of Bristol and the South West and have experienced many a problem with the cheaper companies in the past. As a result we had to call The Bristol Locksmith to repair and replace the damage as they have the expertise we had actually required in the first place. On one occasion our newborn was locked by accident in our bedroom which was fitted with specialist American locks and the professionals were the only ones who knew what to do with it. On reflection, we wish we had called them in the first place, saving ourselves panic, time and money”.

Of course, there is always a flip side to report too. A second Bristol locksmith interviewed , but wishing to remain anonymous, claimed the bigger companies also try to take a larger slice of the pie by monopolizing the higher slots on the Google rankings with paying internet ads and pay per click search engine assistance.  He claimed “ On average people pay around 30% more on their lock fittings just to finance the larger companies advertisements. This means both customers and the remaining security companies are inadvertently penalized as a result”.

Bristol Pharmacist Phil Hurst also expressed an element of discontent regarding start-up companies during recession times.  Owner of many chemists in and around Bristol, he is aware of criminals breaking into his premises for supplies of methanol and therefore requires fast, efficient repair on the locks once the damage has been done. He goes on to say:

“As the owner of a  few commercial properties with very specific contents, I have to be completely sure the work on my chemists is carried out meticulously by locksmiths who are very experienced and know exactly what they’re doing. I can’t compromise the safety of my premises , given their contents. I would always use the likes of The Bristol Locksmith as I know they have been  running successfully for  many years and have never once turned up late or made a mistake. I think that’s a necessity when you’re locked out or have suffered a burglary.”

So it would appear that despite a tsunami of new locksmiths on the block, the indulgence of Google marketing during recession times and a comparative fall in sales for the mainstream locksmith businesses, the news isn’t all bad.

Amit Patek states categorically that the best craftsmen are still the ones required the most out there.

“Once I’ve used someone good in the industry, I pass on their number to friends and family and good news spreads fast. I wouldn’t dream of using someone unknown now. Plus ,in a disaster we like to have someone friendly, polite and efficient dealing with our problem when it occurs, so we feel less likely to panic”.

The final word goes back to The Bristol Locksmith himself on the matter;

“I have a wide range of ongoing customers, whether they’re business premises or elderly people forgetting their keys in sheltered housing. They want the work carried out quickly, but quite frankly  they also prefer a familiar face who can make them feel better at the time too”.

 

For More Information see

www.bestbristollocksmith.com

Word-UP… Boosting Marketing Potential with an Ad or Words

To the average marketing professional, product extensions and plus boxes are an essential tool in site management and product promotion. Moreover, the advent of GoogleAd extensions has recently become an essential part of any company’s paid search strategy. So why should companies invest in this approach specifically?

In a nutshell, Google Adword extensions provide extra information that expands any ad so it takes up more space and creates more of a presence on Google search pages; therefore assisting higher rankings and catching the eye of the target audience, away from your competitors.

Back in November 2009, Sitelinks launched a new model giving Adwords advertisers the chance to provide four additional content links and therefore reaching a wider ranging audience. With a possibility of six additional links to now provide on the bottom of your ad page, the advantages increase as this facilitates the ability to feature more products, offers and selling points as well as creating more of a presence. This in turn provides more of an eye catching, marketing dream of a site which ultimately gains more control for the advertiser regarding search results and that all important Google ranking of top three slot on the first page in searches.

One such success story is ‘Bogato Bistro’ , New York who have seen direct results very quickly as result of using Google Adwords. Restaurant owners George and Farid claim:

“ As a restaurant providing Latin and Columbian food we wanted to raise awareness of the culture and lifestyle to go with our restaurant and Google Ads assisted by allowing us to promote ourselves via an even playing field using keywords in our ads to attract custom. We are now up there on Google next to some of the best restaurants in the world and have seen a 10-12% increase in  our business as a direct result”.

 

© Tess Egerton 2013