Ah, the delights of a borderline surrealist conversation between two old friends. It can often take on a level of joyful normality when those minds are so alike and of equal propensity to err on the side of abstraction.
Take for instance, a simple ‘girlie’ conversation on the phone as one is soaking in a bubble bath in the south of the country whilst the other is tending a burgled lock in the north. How could such circumstances possibly produce the obtuse….?
The conversation runs as follows:
TLC: “Hey darl, I’m soaking here and just need to get out”
JTMac: “I’m sure that’s what the burglar was saying”
TLC: “I’m having a bit of a dizzy fit here so I need to go and talk horizontally”
JTMac …”And with that she ground to a dismal halt”….”how DO you talk horizontally by the way? Does the flatness refer to the intonation or the letters themselves”?
TLC: “Nah I’m just talking into the side of the phone from the side of my mouth at the side of the bed. I just need to sort out my spots and flashes, pins and needles and all other elements of haberdashery before I concentrate on your burglary”.
JTMac: “So sad she had to go so young/A nice warm bath, a faulty lung/Now jolly, as her friend had rung/as damply on her bed she flung/A pensive cough and all was done”
TLC: “I’ve lost my thoughts on burglary/my brain holds haberdashery/I’ll bid goodnight now mon cherie/I need to think more vertically.”
…..And with that, another perfectly normal conversation for the two friends ended for the evening.
Who said the art of conversation was dead, eh?
(This conversation took place on the night of 18th December between TE and her good friend JTMac).
© Tess Egerton 2011